27 August 2014

The Subversion of 717 (6)

'Eeee scree weerly dep dip weee scoop squeen sqa squishwit. Cherka see wurly!' said Adrig, excitedly.
'Eh... could you talk in the language of this land please?' Adm asked, 'because remember I cannot understand your damn screeching.'

'Sorry, I forgot in my over enthusiasm at giving the stupid young boy a scolding. What I said to him was that I was damn well dead as far as he was concerned, clearly!' And then he looked sternly at Edrig.

'But you were dead!' Edrig insisted. 'You were cold, dead... In the pod. Your mask was cut by the octopus!'

'Well how come I am standing here speaking to you then?'

'I don't know.'

'No... there is clearly much that you don't know isn't there? I mustn't really have been dead eh?'

In the absence of any response, Adrig eventually continued.

'An anoxic coma... have you ever heard of it Edrig?'

'No, but you weren't breathing. I was in the pod with you for quite a while.'

'Well I must have been in anoxic coma shock then eh? You don't know much about our biology do you? Maybe I was breathing just a tiny little eh? Just possibly perhaps? For here I am, eh? And I am not too pleased with you either, my boy, not too pleased at all. You should have undertaken your basic training I suppose, and maybe have listened to your teachers a bit more when you were at school.'

'Oh... I often skipped the biology actually,' Edrig admitted.

'Oh what a surprse,' Adrig said with a sarcastic sneer. 'We do have more advanced biological adaptations that the simple sample people you seem to have been more interested in, you know.'

'Oh... And the Ladies?' Edrig asked, remembering them suddenly.

'Oh... Well the ladies, being so fat... Eh I mean so beautiful,' at which point Adrig gave an involuntary look over his shoulder.

'Don't worry,' Edrig assured him, 'I have seen no evidence of any Lady Lords around here.'

'Anyway,' Adrig continued, 'The Ladies, being so big and beautiful...'

'So fat,' Edrig insisted.

'Yes, well being so eh big and fat and unfit... The Ladies have a much reduced ability to go into the emergency preserving state of anoxic coma shock. The needs of their eh... big fatty metabolism are too great.'

'And so?' Edrig demaned, getting impatient.

'Dead dear boy. Both of them. You killed them.'

'Oh...' said Edrig, glumly.

'Yes... Oh indeed, young lad. Oh indeed very much. You have killed two Ladies. But I have a story that can explain that...'

'Oh... But still it's great to see you!' Edrig declared. 'Alive! I can't believe it!'

'Oh, I was wondering when you were going to express some indication of at least mild joy at my astonishing resurrection.'

In the meantime, Eva had been tightly hugging Adm as Adm rather hesitantly submitted to her hugging, and hugged her rather lightly in response.

'Right,' announced Adrig in a sudden business-like manner, 'Come on. Now that we have found you we better get going.'

'Get going?' Edrig said. 'Where?'

'To our pod of course. I'll explain when I get the chance, but you better come, if you want this all to be sorted out, although...'

'But...' said Edrig.

'But...' said Adm.

'But what?' said Eva.

And Adm looked at Eva, then he quietly said, 'But I'm staying here.'

'But...' said Eva.

'You could stay too Eva,' said Adm, rather hesitantly.

'But...' said Adrig, before slowly adding, 'Oh well... come to think of it, that may be better for you... Yes, it may be for the best... if I can think up some other story, but...'

'No buts,' said Adm firmly. 'Stay here with me Eva. It's good. Much better, and my ladies will like you.'

'Your ladies?'

'Ah... Yes well... Just stay Eva. I'll explain everything.'

'I'd like to be there to hear that explanation,' Edrig offered.

'Come on Edrig,' Adrig commanded.

'Say bye byes at yur wife Adrig,' Eva said.

'Your wife?' demanded an incredulous Edrig.

'I'll explain,' said Adrig, 'but...'

'What's the rush anyway?' asked Edrig.

'Yeah, what's the rush?' asked Adm. 'We could have some beers together.'

'Oh... Beers?' Adrig, hesitated. 'Well...'

'I've no money,' said Edrig.

'Nor me,' said Adrig.

'Munny?' said Eva.

'I've got money,' said Adm. 'Come on... This way. To the beers!'


Elephant's Child said...

Thank you.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

"Hmmm" sounds like you are unpersuaded by Adrig's explanation.


But then...

Oh, just Hmmm...

Elephant's Child said...

I was frequently unpersuaded by Adrig's explanations. Fascinated, but sceptical. And unpersuaded.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

That's typical for a human.