19 October 2013

Reluctant reacquaintance

Another sample from the first draft of the further adventures of the lads from Report on Sample 717, with this episode following on from here...

'I thought you said that the men were more dominant here Edrig?'

'So they are, my Lady Ezma, at least they have been more dominant over many centuries, although the ladies are now fighting back quite effectively, but cunningly, not with fists or guns.'

'But those two horribly ugly thin ladies. They were so small yet they just commanded Adm to go home with them as if to issue commands was their natural way, and he followed without question, and I think we know what ordeal he may have to endure with them too.'

'Ah yes my Lady. An ordeal... With the eh... horrible skinny ugly small ladies. Well... It's hard to explain my Lady, some things are hard to explain.'

'An ordeal,' Adrig muttered. 'An ordeal... I should have done the brave and manly thing and volunteered to take his place, for I am old enough to endure the suffering better than him.'

'I think you may have been telling us falsehoods dear man,' Arma suggested to Edrig. 'These ladies did indeed seem perfectly capable of ordering Adm to do their bidding.'

'Ah well. Well...'


'I don't know my lady, perhaps things are more complicated than they seemed to us when we were here. And anyway. Look. I do believe I see two police officers ahead.'

'And look! Exclaimed Adrig, 'I do believe they may know us!'

'Oh? Lesley and Jack?'

'I do think so my boy. Dear Lesley and Jack.'

'Lesley! Jack!' Edrig called out, but the response was not what he had hoped for. Lesley and Jack stopped, stared, both betrayed a flash of recognition across their faces at the same time, and then they both turned sharply to their right, Lesley tugging at Jack's elbow to lead him away as they marched quickly down another narrow alley off of the wide street.

'Oh...' said Edrig.

'Well whoever they are they did not seem pleased to see you,' Arma said, 'And did you see the way the lady pulled him aside? That lady was in charge there! This place is much more properly ordered than you have suggested.'

'I do think,' Adrig began slowly, 'that our previous encounter may have somewhat diminished Lesley and Jack's enthusiasm for a repeat.'

'Ah...' said Lady Ezma. 'I think I know about that encounter, with Jack anyway. With the Lady Lord? Our dear departed Lady Lord? We saw him enter her rooms, but... he is a footballer is he not? The fine and fit young footballer that you brought for her. She liked him too! Kept him all to herself, the bitch.'

'Ah, yes. Indeed,' Edrig began to explain. 'A footballer my lady, but eh... a policeman too... Eh... The police football team. They are very good.'


'Yes really.'

'Really?' Adrig added.

'Yes really Adrig,' Edrig declared firmly, before continuing with, 'Never mind, I think that the police station, eh... the police hotel is quite near here. We should go and present ourselves there, and with any luck they may arres... em... invite us to stay a while in their nice safe locked rooms with some hot food to enjoy.


'For your safety my Lady.'

'Oh. And all free of charge?'

'Indeed my Lady. They do take care of visitors quite well here.'

'And so, Edrig digs himself deeper and deeper...' muttered Adrig in the words that the Ladies would not understand.

'Indeed I do my friend. After all it is what I do best. And I hope the police may have some spare shoes or even clothes to offer us from their lost property department perhaps. If you've got any better ideas let's hear them.'

'Sounds like a fine plan,' conceded Adrig, speaking in his own language again.

'Lead us on then,' Arma commanded. 'To the police hotel!'


Elephant's Child said...

Interestingly, I have suggested that cold and hungry callers who ring the crisis line that I volunteer with that the Police Hotel might be worth visiting. Mostly they decline.

Claude said...

Edrig is very right. Police stations are much, much better than the shelters and the soup line for street people. And, in Canada, our long term jails for criminals are far more luxurious than the Nursing Homes for the Elderly.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

Crisis Line? I may need you to give me that number. Could've done with it on Monday morning and Wednesday afternoon. All calm again now though.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

Thanks for the tip Claude. As soon as the need arises I will ask my children for the fare to Canada and will work out a suitable felony to commit on the plane ride over. That's my old age planning taken care of.

susan said...

I'm already in Canada so at least I won't have to make travel arrangements before conducting my particular version of a retirement felony.

The story grows ever more intriguing.