18 October 2013

Poor Adm

Another sample from the first draft of the further adventures of the lads from Report on Sample 717, following on from here...

In the absence of any better plan, the four superior beings and the more primitive being from a different and devastated sample set off down the track that led to town. The Ladies had suggested just hiding in the woods until the 'inevitable' rescue came, but Edrig's talk of the hot food he had previously enjoyed in a police cell had been the persuasive factor, even if he had substituted the word 'hotel' for cell.

'A police hotel?' Ezma had said. 'What a strange concept, but okay, let's go and see if the police or anybody else can help us.'

'Oh, ah, ouch...' were the words that came from Adrig and Edrig as they walked barefoot upon the stony path. 'We need to get some shoes, fast.'


'Sneaks Adm. Sneaks... and they have much better sneaks here than your ones, may I say.'

'My feet fine,' boasted Adm, 'Come on! Why so slow?'

'Oh, oooh, ah, ouch...'

And so the few people on the top deck of an early morning bus were bemused by the odd little party that they saw reaching the parkland near to where the Lady Lord had so recently met her end. Three men in dark brown fur gowns, open at the arms and revealing bare legs from the knee down, and two bulky women dressed in silvery suits from neck to feet. One of the men, young and muscular, stepping out confidently in his 'sneaks', a second man somewhat chubby and bald and seemingly in his mid-fifties, alongside the taller, slimmer and older looking man with the thin but long silvery hair; and all of them still dripping some water from their cold baths.

'Your communifiers,' said Edrig, the smaller and more chubby of the older men... before adding, 'Oh... still in the pod and now far away, eh? But still, they were broken anyway.'

'No communifiers,' said Lady Ezma, 'No stunners,' added Lady Arma, 'No money,' said Adrig, 'No credit card and no food,' added Edrig. 'Oh, and no damn sneaks.'

'Or underpants,' offered Adrig.

'What you chirrupin' about?' asked Adm. 'Come on. Police hotel and hot food!'

'One has to admire the young fellow's bright enthusiasm,' Adrig commented in his own language, as they plodded alongside each other and into town.

And it was a waking Autumnal town on a Saturday morning, where people gazed at this odd grouping as they progressed through the central streets, drawing laughs and more than a few shouted comments.

'Ha ha! Looks like it has been a great party!'

'Love the outfits guys!'

'Ha ha. Look at that lot. Probably still out of it...'

There was even some applause for them.

'What are they saying?' Ezma demanded. 'Why are they whacking their hands together?'

'In welcome my Lady. In welcome. It is how they greet strangers. They are very friendly, mostly.'

And that was when two slim and gorgeous young ladies, perhaps in their mid-twenties, disembarked from a nearby taxi and staggered towards Adm, whistling and calling out their approval.

'Hey. Gorgeous! looks like your party was almost as much fun as our one.'

'Huh?' said Adm, while looking at the swaying and staggering approaching beauties in their flimsy brightly coloured party dresses and precariously high heels.

'You been buggy beering?' Adm asked, while instinctively reaching out to catch the arm of one of the ladies as she appeared about to fall just as she came alongside him.

'Oh thanks honey,' the first of these two long-haired beauties remarked. 'Such a gent!'

'Oh! help me too gorgeous,' the other one cried out as she grabbed hold of Adm's other arm. 'Help us home! We're still up for a party! You coming with us?'

'Yeah... Help us home gorgeous! Just round there...', and they nodded in the direction of a nearby alley.

Adrig and Edrig looked on, somewhat stunned by these sudden events and by the young girls' beauty.

The Ladies looked on with some disgust.

'So sticky thin!' Arma chirped. 'So unhealthy! So ugly!'

'Oh... yes...' Edrig agreed, unconvincingly. 'Thin... Ugly...'

'Beautiful though,' whispered Adrig in 717 English. 'Just... simply... beautiful...'

By this time the two drunk but beautiful ladies of Sample 717 had led Adm some way away, towards the alley, and Adm was not at all reluctant to be led.

'I help them. Help home...' He called out. 'Better than police hotel. You go. I will find. Back here later.'

'You talk a bit funny, darling,' one of Adm's new friends remarked. 'Come on. Help us home. It's still party time!'

And Adrig and Edrig just watched as Adm was led away until, a short distance down the alley, the three of them turned a corner and then were out of sight.

'Well that's a shame,' said Ezma, 'Should we follow?'

'Best not,' Adrig advised. 'Best not.'

'He'll be fine,' said Edrig. 'Better than with us, although... He should go back, I suppose. Our rules... but then... Ah... if we have led him into a pickle then it is a pickle that he may well enjoy.'

'Better than our new pickle, that's for sure,' said Adrig switching back into the language the Ladies could not understand, while looking regretfully towards the big Ladies in their silvery suits.

'So thin though,' insisted Ezma. 'So ugly... Poor man.'

'Oh yes. The poor, poor man,' Edrig offered in quiet agreement, with a slow shake of the head and a heavy sigh. 'But we must just hope that he can make the best of it, poor man.'


Elephant's Child said...

I am not sure who I feel sorriest for today - except that it isn't Adm. A pickle indeed.

susan said...

It's far from being a ribald story but the underlying attitude of general randiness is very funny. If humanity was more like our bonobo cousins we'd likely be better off.

Happy travels and don't forget your sneaks. You might need them if you keep aiming your lens at nearby local Lady Lords.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

" the underlying attitude of general randiness..."

Ha ha, I like that comment Susan. Understated ribaldry is so much better than being too explicit.

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

I generally just feel sorry for fragile fleshy life, whoever it is embodied within. But agreed, Adm's morning should be fine.